Te Voy a Dar un Puñetazo

this may be the biggest problem i have with salamanca

so you guys know i move slowly
i tend to meander instead of walk
but i may be the fastest moving person in this country (aside from the other americans of course)

every time i need to be somewhere, a group a spaniards sets itself up in front if me
moving incredibly slowly
and always taking up the entire sidewalk

its like they know i need to be somewhere and are doing it on purpose
so because i consider posting on a blog that no one reads to be fair warning
i officially reserve the right to punch the next person, no matter how old, young, or decrepit, who gets all their friends together to stand completely still in the middle of the sidewalk

El Trece de Martes

apparently in spain

tuesday the 13th is bad luck, not friday

fun fact

Las Corridas

so i went to my first bullfight yesterday!!

so bullfights have three toreros (bullfighters)
and each torero gets two bulls

so the bull comes into the ring
and the three toreros (all of whom have three helpers) and their helpers play with it a little
but its pretty pissed so mostly they hide behind these wooden fences

then the picadores (guys carrying spears on blindfolded and heavily armored horses) come in to "calm down" the bull
this means they stab it a few times in the spine area with the spear
so the bull is bloody and not quite as able to wreak havoc as before

then the helpers come with the banderillas (rather like large decorative toothpicks)
they run at the bull and try to stab the banderillas into its back
as far as i can tell, the bull is supposed to have a total of six banderillas in it before the actual fight starts

so then the bullfighter comes in with his red cape
and they do their passes and whatnot
and at the end the bullfighter plunges his sword into the bulls back
after this the helpers wave their pink capes at it until its done
at which point the bullfighter steps in so the bull falls at his feet
the helpers then hit a spot right behind the head with a small knife so that the bull dies quickly
then they drag the body out of the ring with a team of three mules

now in this fight specifically
the first bullfighter received an ear
(if you do a good job you get an ear, if you do a great job you get two ears, and if you do a fantasmagorical job you get both ears and the tail)

the fourth bull had too much spear action
and needed to be replaced with a new bull
(they release a bunch of more docile bulls into the ring to calm down the big scary one and they all exit as a herd)

the last bullfighter didnt get his sword deep enough into the bull so it stuck out halfway or so
he had to remove it
and then to kill the bull he just quickly stabbed it behind the head and it collapsed

it was actually pretty cool
i thought it would be harder to watch because a lot of americans i know have been like 'ohmygod it was terrible i bawled'

if you would like an alternative to killing bulls, watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1L-8xLI_5c&NR=1
^its called recortes and basically its just the guys and the bulls

Horchata

horchata is amazing and wonderful and i love it

also i think it would make an excellent replacement for tea in boba / bubble tea / whatever
basically its perfect...go spain!

JODER

so cultural difference between america and spain

spain REALLY likes things like veet, nair, wax, and laser hair removal whereas america really likes things like razors

my spanish mom has been telling me since i got here that i had to get waxed
that it was so much easier
that its so much more permanent
and its cheap here

(eyebrows here: 3 euro, eyebrows at home: $36)

so i did it (therein enters the joder)

eyebrows, down = all done (minus the arms of course cuz that would just be weird)
so eyebrows were fine...weve all done that plenty of times
legs hurt more than i expected
underarms and...privates...hurt less than i expected...also there was some minor minor bleeding in the underarm area

so now that its over...and i no longer feel like i was bruised in strange places
underarms and privates = worth it
legs = so not worth it

apparently my legs are mostly fine blond hair with only SOME properly waxable hair
so it hurt and i still think i feel like a fur ball

final conclusion:
if spanish women do this on a regular basis, they are completely entitled to live up to their hot-tempered, bitchy reputation

Los Juegos Olímpicos

so brazil got the olympics
and so south america has never had the olympics
and so this is like a big deal for progress and whatnot

i wanted madrid to win

all ive seen for the past fourish months is MADRID 2016

i was sad.

Galicia

so we had our galicia excursion over the weekend

we went to tui, portonovo, orense, and santiago de compostela

theres a lot of celtic influence left over up in galicia
they sell a lot of witch figurines and have a fun combination of superstitions and catholicism
(like they have this super alcoholic drink called quemada, but to make it you have to recite a spell as you set it on fire and whatnot)

also we visited an old celtic village
lots of little circular stone foundations for us to imagine the straw roofs and what have you

santiago de compostela is the capital of galicia and the end of el camino de santiago
the camino de santiago is a religious pilgrimage that is apparently really popular (leave it to me to never have heard of a popular religious thing)
anyway people walk (or bike) from all over the world (saw some brazilians arrive) to come to the church of santiago

...this may be a good place to mention that santiago is spains reinterpretation of the apostle jacob...aka they renamed him as per usual spanishness
they also used him as propaganda during the crusades and the arrival of the moors
his nickname is santiago matamoros (moor-killer) and he is sometimes depicted trampling moors with his horse

then it poured...as per usual galicianess
and we got lost and proceeded to run around in the rain like morons